My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why didn't you poke me back
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
