all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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