would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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