my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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