yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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