I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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