sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize