Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
