What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize