its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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