**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Enjoy the penises
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
