he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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