i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
