Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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