Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
