What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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