i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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