BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize