she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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