Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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