ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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