did you get engaged???
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
