You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
