Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How's work?
Spinning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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