found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
