So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
