Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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