moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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