# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
