Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
