Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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