that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
