it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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