youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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