I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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