did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
