i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
