just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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