The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
