i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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