you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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