She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
