Do you still have your period?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
