i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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