Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My liver is preforming stress tests.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
