Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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