You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
