1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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