i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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