I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
