alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize
