So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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