I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
