the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
