that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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