I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize