he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
