Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize