Quick, to the slutcave!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize