O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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