i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
