Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
