You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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