Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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