funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize